Unorthodox Summary

"Unorthodox" is a memoir written by Deborah Feldman, which offers a profound and intimate look into the world of the Satmar Hasidic community and the author's journey of self-discovery and liberation. This book takes readers through the strictures of a religious upbringing, the challenges of breaking free, and the pursuit of a new life.

Deborah Feldman was born into the Satmar Hasidic community, a highly insular and conservative sect of Judaism. In this community, life is governed by a strict set of religious laws and traditions. Women have a very specific role: they are expected to marry young, have many children, and focus on domestic duties.From a young age, Feldman was taught to follow the rules of the community. She wore the traditional Hasidic clothing, covered her hair after marriage, and adhered to a strict kosher diet. Education for girls was limited mainly to religious studies, with little exposure to the outside world. The community emphasized the importance of family and community over individual desires. Feldman's childhood was filled with religious rituals, from daily prayers to Sabbath observance. However, even as a child, she felt a sense of curiosity about the world beyond the community's boundaries.

In the Satmar community, marriage is not a choice but a social obligation. At a young age, Feldman was introduced to a potential husband through a matchmaker. The process was highly formalized, with little room for personal preference. She was expected to marry quickly and start a family.After her marriage, Feldman found herself in a difficult situation. Her husband was controlling, and the expectations of married life in the community were overwhelming. She was expected to be a submissive wife, constantly focused on her husband's needs and the upbringing of children. The lack of personal freedom and the strict gender roles took a toll on her mental and emotional well-being.

Despite the strict environment, Feldman began to rebel in small ways. She started to read books that were not approved by the community, which opened her eyes to different ideas and ways of life. She became interested in the secular world, its literature, and its values.This newfound knowledge made her question the beliefs and practices of the Satmar community. She began to see the limitations and oppressions within the community, especially for women. Her rebellion was not just about breaking rules; it was a search for her own identity and a more fulfilling life.

As Feldman's desire for independence grew, she faced significant challenges. The community saw her actions as a threat to their way of life. She was ostracized by her family and friends, who saw her as a traitor.Leaving the community meant giving up everything she had ever known: her family, her friends, and her sense of belonging. But she was determined to pursue a life of freedom. She had to learn how to navigate the outside world, which was completely foreign to her. She had to find a job, learn new skills, and build a new support system.